Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
