haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
