Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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