you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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