I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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