i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
