how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Less talking, more tequila
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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