When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
