Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
