Small penises have feelings too.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
