Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
