You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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