u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
