i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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