with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
