When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
