your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
