Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
