Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Randomize
