I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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