Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Randomize
