I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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