i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
