rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
