get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
