she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
