We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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