Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
