i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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