just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
