Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
