i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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