plz talk dirty to me
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
