i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
