You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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