It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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