@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
