Your mouth is God's brothel.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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