The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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