Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
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