You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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