i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
