You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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