The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
