I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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