Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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