yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
