have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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