ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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