i don't like sucking hair
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
